That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
