Dual....:-)
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
