Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
