That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
