Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
