I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
