I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
