Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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