You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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