I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
