ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Mom said you looked used
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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