i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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