Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
