Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
