so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
