I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
