and i looked up. we had an audience...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
