Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize