Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
