drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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