that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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