My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
