he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
