just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You're like the curious george of whores
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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