there was a trapeze. enough said
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
