Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
