You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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