Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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