I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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