just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
