did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
