Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
