You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
