the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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