My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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