Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
