I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
