matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
