Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
