WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
