I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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