Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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