wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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