she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
