how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
