when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
