I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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