I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
