I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
