ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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