I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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