Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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